Signs referring to nonhuman animals have occupied my mind this week, setting me on a hamster wheel of confusing possibilities. Clarity, O Clarity, where art thou? Not here:
A few questions: How does one decide whether a Chicken is Smart? Is managing to stay whole enough? Or does a Chicken have to prove its intelligence by refusing to eat artificial ingredients, thereby achieving organic status?
More confusion:
How many PETS actually spend time COOKING BICYCLES? Have those Smart Chickens created a recipe for roasted or braised handlebars? Do they use organic ingredients?
This sign prompts another question:
Can a dog read well enough to follow instructions explaining how to wash itself? Somehow I thought instinct alone would be sufficient.
Last but not least:
This sign seems a bit sexist. I mean, where are male deer supposed to park? And how exactly does the tow-truck driver decide whether VEHICLES belong to a DOE or a stag? Antler gashes on the dashboard? Perhaps the Department of Education will explain the identification process.
I’ll end this post with one clear message and one shameless plug. Message: Be kind to animals, human or not. Plug: If clarity is your goal, check out my online course, “How to Explain Anything,” which will take place on August 19th from 1:00 — 4:00 EDT (10:00 — 1:00 PDT). Enroll at www.hugohouse.org.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
The “self dog wash” and “smart chicken” are especially guffaw-inducing! Great post, Gerri!
Thanks, Ellie!
Good afternoon, Ms. Woods. I have trouble using prepositions. English is my second language, so I always use the wrong one. Is there a book or video I can watch to help me with this problem? I bought your Basic English Grammar for Dummies back in April.
Thanks for buying my book! Prepositions are indeed difficult for those who are learning English. So often, usage of prepositions depends on custom, not logic. I don’t know of a video (though one may exist), and most of the grammar books I am familiar with cover the same material I discuss in Basic English Grammar For Dummies. In general, reading English books or articles on any topic, or listening to English-language programs and films will strengthen your “ear” for accepted usage. I have some fluency in Spanish, and I read and listen as much as I can to improve my skills. (Prepositions are hard in that language, also!) Good luck with your studies.