Tag Archives: apostrophes

Please tell me . . .

Please tell me that two apostrophes are missing from this sign, and not the verb “are.” Even though it’s unlikely that Fido and Mittens can read, I’d also be happy with direct address, created by a colon after “cats”:

P1010982

 

Please tell me that the employees of this store are not making neat rectangles out of little humans:

Fold how?

Fold how?

 

I understand the “wash” part, as I subscribe to a theory I discovered in an Angela Thirkell novel: that kids are born with a bag of dirt inside that leaks out little by little, beginning anew every time they emerge from the bathtub. But the rest is a mystery. Fold? Doubled over at the waist, or vertically from left to right? Also, what’s with the “n”? Why use this contraction of “and,” which is more a grunt than a word? Maybe the workers are too busy bending kids’ hands and feet (and then keeping the limbs in place) to add the missing letters? And what’s the market for folded babies and toddlers? Okay, as an experienced mother and grandmother, I can actually answer that last question. After a long day chasing little kids around, having someone fold them neatly is, unfortunately, appealing. Wrong, but appealing.

Hallucinations for sale

I’ve been “collecting” signs for a while. This post is a mix of old and new sightings in the category labeled “Huh?” that I add to nearly every day.  First up is a store that specializes in hallucinations. Does the DEA know?

Top quality visions only.

Top quality visions only.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next is something my friend Michael sent me, with the email subject line “Word Crime.” Isn’t it wonderful to hydrate yourself for your entire lifetime for only $1.95? Quite a bargain.

free water

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Below is another puzzle. We buy cash in exchange for cash?  And then there are the “old boyfriends.” (Young boyfriends, I guess, don’t count.)  Also, even if you insert an apostrophe and exchange your “old boyfriend’s jewelry” (singular) or “old boyfriends’ jewelry” (plural), aren’t you stealing the old guy’s jewelry? In the face of larceny, I won’t mention the missing comma after “gold” or the period that should follow “diamonds.” Should I be surprised that the store went out of business?

Turn your cash into cash? Not to mention your old boyfriends.

Turn your cash into cash? Not to mention your old boyfriends.