Monthly Archives: February 2025

So close, but . . .

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Perfection is never a possibility when human beings are involved, as these signs illustrate. They came so close but — well, take a look.

This notice was posted on a public bus. (For non-NYers, I should explain that most east-west streets in Manhattan are numbered in ascending order from south to north.)

If this sign were accurate, the bus would go uptown from 1st Street to 14th, 23rd, 34th, and then loop back to 29th before proceeding northward to 42nd. Quite a route!

Here’s one from a going-out-of-business sale:

The 1/2 OFF is clear, but UP OT?

You may not be familiar with the retail chain associated with this truck, but let me assure you it does not sell ballet equipment:

Last one:

I’m not skilled enough to swivel the photo, so I’ll reproduce the product name and ingredient list here. Count the ingredients. PRODUCT: Three Cheese Mac & Cheese. Ingredients: American Cheese & Swiss Cheese. Maybe it’s UP OT Three Cheese?

Wishing you a prefect — er, I mean perfect — day!

Perfectly (Un)clear

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Because I’m a baseball fan, the Superbowl serves primarily to remind me that pitchers and catchers will soon report to spring training. That’s why I’m posting this puzzling clip from an article about a baseball game played last season:

I’ve read Lorenzen’s statement several times, and I still can’t figure out what he meant when he said that his miss needs to be in off.

Nor can I decode this pair of signs:

It’s clear that they sell CIGARETTES. In fact, they sell All brands of CIGARETTES. But I can’t figure out why NOW is underlined in the top sign and ALL in the second, or why there’s one line under the first CIGARETTES and two under the second. Increasing exasperation? Or does the store slap up a new sign every time someone asks whether they carry a particular brand?

Then there’s this ad. No problem decoding the first two lines, but the third is another story:

How, exactly, are feet relived? If they’re selling a return trip to an earlier era, sign me up. I’d like my feet to trek back in time to relive the early 70s. Maybe the 90s, too. Definitely not the 80s or most of this millennium. That much is clear, at least to me. How about you?