Tag Archives: pronouns

Scratching an It

Pronouns create more problems per letter than any other part of speech, in my humble and completely unscientific opinion. You’d think that a scarcity of letters would open up fewer chances for error, but the opposite is true. Consider “it,” which is nearly as small as it gets, pun intended.

This sign is posted in a bathroom in a building owned and operated by a distinguished university, which shall remain nameless but not blameless:

I support the plea, the lavatory version of the Golden Rule, but not the pronoun. As the sentence is worded, “it” has to refer to “stalls and sinks.” Those items are clearly plural, and “it” is singular.

Now a few words from a distinguished newspaper, which shall also remain nameless:

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I first read this article, I thought that Loftsson’s whaling operation did not recognize “an international ban on commercial hunting.” Duh, I thought. They’re hunting; hence in the company’s view, the ban isn’t valid. A few minutes later, I realized that Iceland doesn’t recognize the ban. I probably would have caught on sooner had I had my morning coffee before reading the paper. But that’s why the rules for pronoun antecedents exist: to keep things clear even in the absence of caffeine.

Last is this caption, posted near the excavation of a Roman site. Mindful of my own frequent errors in the second and third languages I’ve studied, I’m ignoring the obvious translation issues. Instead, I’m focusing on the last word, “it”:

The photo is a bit unclear, so I reproduce the text here:

“Opening a settlement, to public visitors, would make some interventions destined for restoration, conservation, and spreading. The objective is to guarantee that the remains, mosaics, walls or paintings, wouldn’t deteriorate more than they are and, at the same time, visitors could understand them. Its appearance is never the same as the one in the excavation, neither is the one that had while the Hispanic-romans were using it.”

I dare you to define “it” with certainty. After reading other signs posted around the excavation, I realized that I was looking at the remains of a bath house and latrine. This “it,” in other words, has a lot in common with the modern restroom where I found the first sign. The more pronoun errors change, it seems, the more they stay the same.

 

Working to Change That

Maybe it’s because I spent too much of my early adulthood listening to suburban relatives complain about New York City, which was then and is now my home. Maybe it’s because too many people I’ve met on my travels through small towns ask me whether I’ve been mugged, once they learn that I am from New York City. Regardless of the reason, a tagline on public radio really hit me in the gut. With the name changed to protect the innocent, here is what a smooth, sophisticated voice announced this morning on NPR: “Two thirds of diabetics live in cities. Big Drug Company is working to change that.”

Come again? Are they handing out coupons for discount relocation services? Lining up vans at clinics? Hop on. Leave the city! Your blood sugar will be normal again! Is that what Big Drug Company is saying?

The more likely explanation, of course, is that whoever writes for Big Drug Company is grammatically challenged when it comes to pronouns, not an urbanophobe (a term I just made up). That should refer to one noun (either singular or plural), not to a clause such as two thirds of diabetics live in cities. Even when you untangle the grammar, Big Drug Company’s message is still unclear. Has the company sent representatives with insulin pumps to crowded areas? Are employees standing on street corners, waiting to take your blood like some sort of urban vampire squad? Or is Big Drug Company placing posters in subways, urging people to take Big Drug Company’s health advice (and buy its products)? Their contribution to public radio apparently wasn’t enough to buy time for more details.

To be fair to Big Drug Company (not to mention public radio), I must admit that pronouns attract errors the way spilled syrup draws flies. I often see sentences resembling this one: “George told his brother that he was an idiot.” What do you think happened next? Did the brother land a punch on George’s nose, screaming, “How dare you insult me?” Perhaps the brother threw his arms around George and said, “You’re too hard on yourself, Bro. You aren’t an idiot. You’re just stupid.” The vague pronoun he leaves you wondering.

Wondering, like diabetes, drug companies, and interpersonal fights, is not a good idea. I think we should work, as Big Drug Company says, “to change that.”

I’ll let you decide what that is.