With the belief that humor in the midst of tragedy is a relief and the hope that silly signs will make you smile, I’ve repurposed some photos I took in pre-distancing days.
Because you can’t get to the groomer and have never actually taken care of the canine you live with.You’ve streamed everything. The refrigerator is just sitting there. Go look.Suitable for children’s bedrooms, our best bike-friendly surface. Call now!
One more, which isn’t silly despite its mangled grammar:
These days, real heroes definitely don’t wear capes. They wear scrubs. They wear masks (when they can get them). They wear a calm face, no matter how fearful they are. They are the doctors, nurses, aides, EMTs, janitors, clerks, and everyone else who fights this disease. They deserve thanks — and every possible support — from all of us.
Can’t do without food and drink, right? But I can certainly do without the silliness that appears permanently attached to them on the signs and menus of New York. This one, for instance:
Which hero are we talking about? Wonder Woman, in a traditionally female role? Batman, grilling in the Bat Cave (a traditionally male role)? Or The Flash, serving super-fast food? Also, how does a burger get “certified”? That last question is apparently a serious issue, as some meat producers object to the term “burger” for anything that doesn’t contain meat. They want to prohibit the term “veggie burger,” for instance, and substitute . . . well, that’s not clear. Maybe patty? disk? puck? The menus of America need a hero to step in and solve this language problem.
Speaking of menus:
I can’t decide whether this restaurant is patting customers on the back for ordering a treat that sounds vaguely nutritious or castigating them for ordering any pastry at all. Also, what’s with the “by”? I’d expect the preposition “from,” reserving “by” for works of art (a painting by Rembrandt, for example). I guess the restaurant wants customers to see these creations as masterpieces. And for all I know (I didn’t order any), they are.
I didn’t take advantage of what this sign offers, either:
At least it’s not “outdoor.” If I were ever tempted to grill myself, I’d prefer a little privacy.
Time to wash down all this food:
These days, it is indeed “special” to encounter honesty, which is reason enough to order and pay for two drinks.
