Adding to the pretension stalking New York menus, my favorite bar has taken to posting prices like 3.5 and 1.5 after a detailed description of its artisanal pretzels and available toppings. I can only assume that the printer – actually a photocopier – charges by the character, so the missing zeroes are a sign of thrift, not a way to show you that this is not any ordinary bar, but one with originality (and expensive side snacks). Which would be true if 2.5 dollars’ worth of potato chips were not part of a larger pattern of missing letters and numbers. This sign, for example, kept me scratching my head for a few minutes:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

N? Seriously? I objected (and actually still object) to shortening “and” to ‘n, which is a glorified grunt, but without the apostrophe all you’ve got is a letter. Also, what does “now” mean in this context? Were they going to place polish later? Earlier?

But back to the missing. Take a look at this sign:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apostrophes are so often misused that finding mistakes with them is like shooting fish in a barrel. (Does anyone do that, by the way? Besides being unfair to fish, wouldn’t the barrel leak with a bullet hole in it?) Here the sign should read “men’s” and, ideally, “women’s and men’s.” I’m pretty sure of that fact, but I have no idea how “weaving” can be gendered. But then again, I know grammar, not fishing, shooting, or weaving.

This gem adds instead of subtracts. Focus on the hyphen:

 

 

 

I still can’t imagine what a bar-deli is, unless it’s a spot to knock back a beer while your salami is sliced and your macaroni salad weighed. And what’s with “produce”? Your guess is as good as mine, but I’m guessing that you can’t find anything cheaper than $5.5 at this Upper East Side bar-deli.