Monthly Archives: April 2015

Not Raining but Poring

Nobody seems to look for anything these days, if my favorite newspaper, The New York Times, is any indication. A small selection from just a couple of days in April 2015:

  • CIA analysts  “poring over drone video feeds, satellite data, electronic intercepts of cellphone conversations and informants’ reports.”
  • A writer “on her couch, poring over a new story.”
  • Football coaches “poring over game film and scouting reports” before the draft (for players, not for combat).
  • American “business and investment lawyers poring over the mash-up of laws in the existing trade embargo” of Cuba.
  •  Angora rabbit fans (who knew they existed?)  “who spend time coddling the rabbits and poring over their pedigrees.”
  • The South Korean government, “poring over private chats” in an invasion of privacy.

I’m not sure what to make of all this poring, which, by the way, is not related to climate change. “To pore over” is “to read or study carefully, in an attempt to remember,” according to one dictionary. That definition doesn’t seem to be the operative one lately. Instead, poring over is the new sifting through — checking a mountain of information for just the right fact. Not that sifting through has gone away entirely. I got more than 4000 hits when I searched for “poring” in the NY Times site, and a slightly higher number for “sifting through.” In the last two weeks, jurors were “sifting through” evidence in a high-profile murder case, a scholar was commended for “sifting through” early Modernist works, and an actor was depicted as “sifting through television and film scripts” in search of a new project. An employer was “sifting through resumes” and someone else was “sifting her memory for clues about her father’s secrets.”

And then there’s data mining. Can’t you just picture  data miners, wearing reading glasses instead of helmets with those little headlights, poring over their algorithms, hoping to uncover something of value? The gold nugget, so to speak. Before data mining I often read about people massaging the data to find patterns. I’m not exactly sure what you do when you massage the data, but it sounds like a lot more fun than poring over or sifting through.

All these terms, though, mirror how overwhelmed we are. Documents, film, audio tapes, and rabbit pedigrees — how are we to keep up? The haystack keeps getting taller and the needle smaller. Me, I’ll just keep looking.

Upcycling

Now trending, as they say in media far less long-winded than I am, is “upcycling” – taking discarded or undervalued material and pushing it up the value ladder. While I can appreciate the conversion of old rubber tires into sturdy sandals, I have some problems with upcycling language. Take a look at this sign, which turns a regular old cup of coffee into something else:

Small batch?

Small batch?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I guess “small-batch” is one of those terms you’re supposed to see as worth at least a dollar more per cup. After all, “small” implies that most people are excluded. The fact that this sign appears on a worldwide chain of coffee shops is irrelevant, though ironic. And speaking of “shops,” note the upcycling of this name:

Add two letters and double the price.

Add two letters and double the price.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s another, for those of you who slap some polish on their fingertips (if that) and assume they’re ready for the runway:

Design team?

Design team?

 

Pause for a moment to  pity the team-less. To console themselves, they can go to a bar. Or, as the next sign indicates, they can visit a “taproom” where they have “craft beer” and, if I’m being grammatically picky (and I always am), a “craft kitchen,” whatever that means. Nowadays, “craft beer” frequently carries about as much meaning as “small batch,” given that conglomerates have taken over many of what used to local beer companies that really did make small batches.

P1010457

 

 

Not to belabor the point, which is already on overtime, here’s a sign that eschews (1) patriotism or (2) common sense by advocating “European Wax,” which is either a style of hair removal or a sticky product of bees residing abroad:

 

What's wrong with American wax?

What’s wrong with American wax?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think I’ll stay home, make a small batch of coffee, and drink it in my craft kitchen. You’re welcome to join me.